12/25/2017 (poem)

i want it quiet

but it never is


my head spins

and screams

and aches


nobody knows

nobody understands

nobody cares


and if they care

i don’t


i don’t want help

i never will

but i need it


and to cope

i’ll send my mind off

i keep my head in the clouds


breathe in

it burns

breath out



not enough guilt to stop

i don’t want to stop

but i need to


i found comfort

in my sadness

and in my shame

and in my misery

and it doesn’t bother me

but maybe it should


nobody knows

and honestly

i won’t tell them

they don’t deserve it


in a room full of people

i am alone

i am not heard

i am not remembered


i want it to stop

i want it quiet


I’m running in circles

Around my mind

And only stops when it’s negative

And it spins again