Breaking news: School lunch favorite “crispitos” haven’t been seen since the beginning of school, starting to worry students (satire)
Fear spreading through school as the potential of school lunch “crispitos” disappear
November 2, 2017
Thursday, the second of November. Students across Mead High School are again disappointed as the favorite school lunch “crispitos” are nowhere to be seen.
Panic and confusion seems inevitable, as crispitos were considered the proverbial glue keeping the school together. Student Tony Romero commented “I’m getting scared, if the crispitos don’t come back we could have a potential riot on our hands”. Tony has been a crispito enthusiast for almost his entire high school career, and advocates for their return.
Although unknown why they haven’t been seen since the start of the school year, rumors have been circulating that the removal had to do with the replacement of the aptly named “Asian” variety that according to an anonymous source makes kids 80% more likely to take an AP class.
Restlessness has been observed to be slowly increasing as one can only wonder: will the school bring happiness or let our stomachs turn into a cesspool of sadness?
Extacy Amber Crisp • Aug 27, 2021 at 12:38 pm
Well, we used to have crispitos every other week on Tuesdays at the high school. And the elementary school has literally gotten them like 3 times in 2 weeks. It’s sad because crispitos are one of everyone’s favorite lunches. and I’ve seen people physically sad…
ThOmAs Beltowski • Nov 9, 2017 at 8:14 am
I am sad that crispitoa have not been in school lunch in what seems like forever I hope they make a huge return
Marcus • Nov 9, 2017 at 8:13 am
I want crispitos back
Rachel Long • Nov 2, 2017 at 11:08 am
Umm…crispitos were served last month and are on the menu for this month. I get that it’s satire, but they are always served only once a month.