How to break-up with TikTok (Satire)

End your addiction with the dances, trends, and the app—for good.

Kenna+Stephen+breaking+her+TikTok+addiction+by+handing+her+phone+over+to+Raylee+Phillips.

Marina Goter

Kenna Stephen breaking her TikTok addiction by handing her phone over to Raylee Phillips.

Many of us have heard of the dangerous app known as TikTok. The dances, content, and songs provide quality entertainment for everyone. It’s easy to get lost on the “ForYou” page, and lose focus on life responsibilities. For some, it might even be part of our daily routine.

If this sounds familiar, here’s your chance to break your addiction to TikTok and get your life back!

Step 1: Quit doing the TikTok dances

Stop the dances right now! Don’t do them in the halls, the shower, your room, outside, anywhere. Just stop. If you catch yourself doing them, first confirm you are not actually having a medical crisis. If you aren’t, come up with other creative ways to break the habit. That means NO dancing to “lottery” (aka doing the renegade). We all have witnessed this deadly dance in the halls of MHS (yes, there are many TikTok addictions in these halls). If someone starts doing a TikTok dance, run. Do not give in!

Millennials and parents probably think that we are part of some cult, always in sync. I hate the thought of it, but maybe the thought of teens being addicted to their phones is true. 

Step 2: Unfollow Charli D’Amelio (No hate to Charli intended)

You can blame her for starting your addiction. If you have TikTok, you have probably heard of/know the renegade dance (that doesn’t mean do it (if you feel the urge to do it, refer to step 1)). If you didn’t know, Charli started this dance, and that small taste was the start of many addictions. I would be surprised if you weren’t currently one of the 21.1 million people following Charli. So, do yourself a favor, and just click the unfollow button.

Step 3: Delete the app

Before you freak out, I know it takes a lot of courage to do so. But trust me, it’s for the best. Think of how nice it would be to have more time in your day rather than spending hours on your phone, scrolling endlessly on the app. Can you even remember what your life was like before downloading TikTok? The POVs, songs, challenges, accounts, etc. are certainly addicting, but most of us need to live our lives before we graduate.

That’s it. TikTok can no longer take over your life, so get back to doing your homework, hanging with your friends, and whatever else made you happy before your addiction. After all, you only live once.