I pour my words out to the ceiling

Knowing no words will come back

My head feels backward

I can share my thoughts around myself

But no one else

I always wondered why?

Rolling over to check my phone

“It’s 2 a.m.” muffled out of my mouth

The voice in my head has always been screaming

But now more than ever

I talk openly about how pure and genuine he is

As I wait for a reply I haven’t gotten in days

I tell no one of this, I feel it makes me look vulnerable

Vulnerability frightens me the most

I’ve always feared accepting love from others

I’ve always thought that if I couldn’t love myself

I shouldn’t accept love from others

Over time — the grip tightened around that thought

Rolling around the corner it was “3 a.m.”

Everyone always tells you don’t lose sleep over a guy

I guess I can’t listen either