Breaking news: School lunch favorite “crispitos” haven’t been seen since the beginning of school, starting to worry students (satire)

Fear spreading through school as the potential of school lunch “crispitos” disappear

Garrett Schroeder, Editor

Thursday, the second of November. Students across Mead High School are again disappointed as the favorite school lunch “crispitos” are nowhere to be seen.

Panic and confusion seems inevitable, as crispitos were considered the proverbial glue keeping the school together. Student Tony Romero commented “I’m getting scared, if the crispitos don’t come back we could have a potential riot on our hands”. Tony has been a crispito enthusiast for almost his entire high school career, and advocates for their return.

Although unknown why they haven’t been seen since the start of the school year, rumors have been circulating that the removal had to do with the replacement of the aptly named “Asian”  variety that according to an anonymous source makes kids 80% more likely to take an AP class.

Restlessness has been observed to be slowly increasing as one can only wonder: will the school bring happiness or let our stomachs turn into a cesspool of sadness?

***This is a SATIRICAL piece. It is not the opinion of The Mav staff. Direct all questions, concerns, and anger towards editor Garrett Schroeder.