It’s the evil ones dressed in blue and gray metal that meticulously suck your hair into their tight grasp. Then, by some random fate, when you feel the itch to sit up, it attacks, and your hair is ripped right out of the root due to the extreme tension. This pain is indescribable as you panic to turn around and attempt to free your hair from the tight grip.
This is detrimental; I already have a high percentage of natural hair loss. I don’t need a haircut from a school chair.
MHS students attest to their hatred to these horrendous chairs.
Areese Agho (‘29) said, “Every time I sit in one, I get little pieces of my hair ripped out, and it’s really painful.” She would rate this pain a 8/10.
Kira Corne (‘27) agrees, rating the pain a little lower at 7/10, saying, “ I fear these chairs are the bane of my existence. Every time I’m just trying to sit peacefully in class, they just rip out my hair, and I don’t know why.” These chairs are magicians, able to strike at any sudden moment.
Corne put it in the words, “No other chairs in the history of chairs rip out hair like these do.”
The blue devils don’t attack all the time, though. They meticulously wait, not striking for days, sometimes weeks, until you are unsuspecting of anything. Then, when it’s time, they somehow grab your most sensitive two hairs and pull them out. Often, this is specifically when you’re already having a bad day. This alone can send me to the stratosphere, but when I’m already in a bad mood, it’s game over.
Although not always avoidable, there are some ways to prevent hair loss.
The most effective method would be to wear an updo, which has about a 99% success rate, although you can never doubt the power of these chairs. Another method, if you want to wear your hair down, is to not lean back and lay your hair over the back of the chair. This makes it less likely for the chair to be able to grasp your hair.
There are some fixes, but somehow its arms can still crawl around the back of the chair to grab your hair. These chairs may be evil, but because they are all over the school, we must endure the pain they inevitably bring.
