How to successfully find your friends in the bathroom (Satire)
A guide on how to accomplish a successful girl’s bathroom rendezvous
Many girls walk in and out of the girls bathroom during passing periods.
The clock’s ticking. Class is finally almost over. Now it’s time to plan another get together. The bathroom is probably the best place to meet up with all ya gurls and gossip about what that person in front of you heard another kid saying to the person next to them. The luxurious porcelain seats in the restroom provide the best quality seating. The smells just add to the awesome-insanitary-aesthetic that you and your friends long for.
The only problem is that the crowds make it a little bit tricky to find your friends — you’re not the only one with this idea after all. Here are a few tips and tricks when you find yourself having this problem:
#1 Look for their shoes
Go ahead! Don’t be afraid to really look under the stalls or stand and stare at the stall doors if you can’t see any shoes. Those people behind you only use the bathroom to relieve themselves. You use it for its real and most glamorous purpose.
#2 Follow the leader
If you see a group of about eight or ten girls walk in, they’re bound to know where your friends are. Follow them into the giant stall. That’s where your friends will be waiting. If they aren’t the right people, oh well — at least you made it.
#3 Look for the trail
You don’t just go into the bathroom to socialize. Follow the trail of vape mist. Full of extremely artificial smells and tiny chunks of metal. This is how you and your friends make yourselves known to other bathroom users.
I hope these three tips will make it easier to locate your friends on your next crucial girls bathroom meetup trip.
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Skylar Whalen is a senior. She is this year's editor-in-chief. Skylar enjoys painting, singing, and playing softball. She is a huge animal lover and works with dogs outside of school. Skylar plays competitive softball and hopes to play in college. She is excited to help other writers succeed and grow. Skylar can’t wait to work with new people and produce engaging stories for the community around her. She also enjoys having the excuse to write about herself in third person and make her seem interesting.
Braeden is a senior. He enjoys running, fishing, hanging out with friends, and playing with his dogs. He is involved with cross country, track, and FCA. He is looking forward to taking pictures for the newspaper and getting lots of sports photos to edit and submit to contests.
Ana • Mar 18, 2022 at 9:27 am
I loved this article its was hilarious!
Candy Berkenkotter • Mar 11, 2022 at 12:23 pm
Pretty clever satire!