How to successfully find your friends in the bathroom (Satire)

A guide on how to accomplish a successful girl’s bathroom rendezvous


Braeden Corliss

Many girls walk in and out of the girls bathroom during passing periods.

The clock’s ticking. Class is finally almost over. Now it’s time to plan another get together. The bathroom is probably the best place to meet up with all ya gurls and gossip about what that person in front of you heard another kid saying to the person next to them. The luxurious porcelain seats in the restroom provide the best quality seating. The smells just add to the awesome-insanitary-aesthetic that you and your friends long for.

The only problem is that the crowds make it a little bit tricky to find your friends — you’re not the only one with this idea after all. Here are a few tips and tricks when you find yourself having this problem:

#1 Look for their shoes

Go ahead! Don’t be afraid to really look under the stalls or stand and stare at the stall doors if you can’t see any shoes. Those people behind you only use the bathroom to relieve themselves. You use it for its real and most glamorous purpose.

#2 Follow the leader

If you see a group of about eight or ten girls walk in, they’re bound to know where your friends are. Follow them into the giant stall. That’s where your friends will be waiting. If they aren’t the right people, oh well — at least you made it.

#3 Look for the trail

You don’t just go into the bathroom to socialize. Follow the trail of vape mist. Full of extremely artificial smells and tiny chunks of metal. This is how you and your friends make yourselves known to other bathroom users.

I hope these three tips will make it easier to locate your friends on your next crucial girls bathroom meetup trip.