D-wing toilet seat has finally fallen (Humor)

The very loose toilet seat in the D-wing girls bathroom broke away on March 18


Noel Major

The lid to this big stall toilet seat barely holds on.

Skylar Whalen, Editor-in-Chief

Over the course of a few months the toilet in the D-wing girls bathroom has loosened. The culprit? Whenever the door came open in the downstairs restroom, a certain group of scared girls would crowd onto one toilet. The reasoning behind this is the fear that admin will catch them all in the same stall. Standing on the toilet will make it look like there is only one occupant.

As the months went on, the toilet definitely began to feel the damage. Its porcelain body struggled to cling on to life. Slowly, it lost it’s grasp on the drywall. Screws fell out as life faded away.

Many bathroom users noticed the toilet’s suffering. Ana Stewart (‘24) and Abby Kerns (‘25) say that they noticed the toilet’s agony a couple of months ago. According to Stewart (‘24) the toilet victim was a little wiggly. She said that “this morning it was holding on for dear life”. Kearns (‘25) said that she noticed that it was suffering “a week or two ago”.

On March 18, the toilet seat finally went into the light. It will no longer see anymore bright faces doing the “potty dance” as they run into the stall. When asked about this event, Noel Major (‘25) shared, “I was waiting for that thing to fall off.” It was a matter of time.

News of the broken seat spread fast. The D-wing stalls were full of conversations. Students reminisced about their interactions with the deceased toilet. Ana Carrillo (‘23) said goodbye to the toilet seat, “You will be missed.”

The future of the big stall is unknown. “Maybe they’ll turn it into a memorial?” guessed Lillian Coker (‘24). Whatever happens, this loss will forever be marked in history.